-
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip
club at least once.
-
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit
level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
-
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French bread.
-
It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the
control tower to talk you down.
-
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off
even while scuba diving.
-
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.
- No
one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any
other part of the building you want without difficulty.
-
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -
even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
-
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
-
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer
beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his
forthcoming art exhibition.
-
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
-
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will
wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
-
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it
before long.
-
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
-
When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill
just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
-
Kitchens don't have light switches.
When entering a kitchen at night, you
should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
-
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.
-
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every
morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
-
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
-
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective
or give him
48 hours to finish the job.
-
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley
Stadium.
-
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
-
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
-
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending
phone conversations.
-
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off
-
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are
visiting.
-
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication
systems of any invading alien civilization.
-
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will
never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-
Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -
unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at that precise moment.
