The Top 15 Entries on Bobby Knight's Resume
15. Education: Graduated Magna Cum Laude from the Woody Hayes
School of Anger Management
14. 1963 NCAA chair-put champion
13. Inducted along with Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor into
the Cursing Hall of Fame, August 1992
12. Best-selling author of "Coaches Who Hate Players and
Fans, and the Players and Fans Who Love Them."
11. Chairman, Campaign to Rid the World of Decaffeinated Coffee,
10. Personal references: Latrell Spreewell, Sean Penn, Mike
Tyson, Jack Nicholson, O.J. Simpson
9. Position Sought: Head Basketball Coach at the major university
level, for a school that values character, academic success
and winning, and doesn't get all pissy about a little chair
throwing, student choking, cop punching, profanity screaming
or rule flaunting, because, frankly, I got enough of that shit
at my last job. Ya hear me?
8. Courtside Folding Chair Feng Shui Coordinator, 1961
7. Graciously declined invitation to become a full-time resident
of the Puerto Rican penal system in 1979.
6. Developed such advanced medical techniques as "Secondary
Anus Creation" and "Spontaneous Decapitation to Assist
in Esophageal Feces Insertion."
5. Co-CEO, Knight/Rocker Sports Public Relations, Inc.
4. Proactively established results-oriented Poo-Based Motivation
Therapy program for youngsters.
3. Debate Team Captain, 1954, Our Lady of Cascading Profanity
2. 1984-1987: Pounded stuff with my fists!! Pounded, pounded,
1. Heart donor, 1981.