The Ant &
© 1995 Mark E. Howerter
"The Other Side"
The Original Version...
The ant busts his butt in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter the ant is warm and well
fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
The New Liberal Socialist Version...
It starts out the same but when winter comes the shivering
grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to
be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up and
show pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to film of the ant in his comfortable home
with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in a
country of such wealth that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a
representative of the NAAGB (The National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on Night
Line and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and makes the case that the
grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the frog appears on
Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being
Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather That they will do everything they can for the
grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly
during the summer, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures Of The 80's".
Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism
Act" RECTRO-ACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to
hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his Retro-Active
taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
of the ant's food while the government house he's in....which just happens to be the ant's
old house.... crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has
disappeared in the snow. And on the TV; which the grasshopper bought by selling most of
the ant's food, Bill Clinton is standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats
announcing that a new era of "Fairness" has dawned in America.